


Idiot

by cresswells



Category: Darkest Powers - Kelley Armstrong
Genre: Family, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 10:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cresswells/pseuds/cresswells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two brothers. One girl. Derek and Simon finally have a heart-to-heart about Chloe. Missing moment. Spoilers for The Reckoning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Idiot

> _I glanced around to see where he'd gone. He was five paces behind, following soundlessly._
> 
> " _Derek..." I sighed._
> 
> " _I need some fresh air. Go on."_
> 
> _Another twenty feet. He kept following me. I turned and glowered up at him. He stopped and stood there, face impassive._
> 
> " _Fine," I said. "I'll go into the house. You can track down Simon before the Edison Group snatches him."_
> 
> _He followed me to the door, then waited as I went in before heading out to round up his brother._

> _\- Kelley Armstrong, The Reckoning  
> _

* * *

I waited until I heard the door click shut before I turned around and headed back into the woods.

Towards Simon.

I'd been dreading tonight ever since Simon brought up the idea of taking Chloe out, but never had I imagined that it would end up like this.

I just... couldn't accept the conclusion Simon had come to. It didn't make any sense. I kept going through it in my head, trying to decide what I'd say to Simon when I reached him. But there was nothing to say, except, _You're wrong. Dead wrong. She doesn't like me. You've got it the wrong way around._

_I like her._

But of course, I wouldn't say that. I couldn't.

Simon's path veered slightly to the left, and I followed it, keeping to the shadows, just in case. There were no new scents in this part of the forest, but I couldn't be sure. I'd thought I'd smelt something earlier, but maybe it was just a figment of my imagination. I could feel the Change coming on, and I was stressing out again, causing more problems than I solved...

Like this problem now, between Chloe and Simon. I'd caused this. I'd encouraged Simon to go after her in the first place. And now... she didn't _like_ him in that way? Simon – who had girls fawning over him left, right and centre? I remembered her words: _"He's the one who thinks... That there's someone else... That I like you."_

But she didn't. She'd said it herself.

" _I don't,"_ she'd protested, before I could even begin to process what she was telling me. _"I don't."_

And she'd looked up at me so angrily as she said it. I tried not to dwell on that too much. Right now, my main concern was Simon. Because even if he didn't really know her as well as I did, Simon did still like her. And he deserved her. And now he'd run off into the forest. I needed to find him, to encourage him back into the house, to reassure him that he was wrong. Chloe didn't like me. Not in that way. Not in the slightest.

I found him perched on the decaying remains of a culled tree trunk. The log had been rolled over onto its side, providing the perfect sitting place... had it not been covered in moss. Simon started down at his hands, lost in thought, obviously not bothered by the moss and decay he was sitting on.

"Simon," I whispered, not wanting to scare him. Unfortunately, my whisper had the opposite effect. He fell off the log with a yelp of surprise.

I smirked, despite myself. "Skittish?" I asked lightly. "You've obviously been spending too much time with Chloe."

Simon didn't smile. "Yeah. That's real funny. You realise I've barely spent any time at all with Chloe since we left Lyle House? If anyone should be jumpy, it's you."

Okay, perhaps that wasn't the _best_ conversation starter. I rubbed my prickling arm, not knowing what to say. Simon didn't help matters, simply staring up at me in silence, still lying sprawled out on the dusty forest floor. I held out my hand.

He got gingerly to his feet on his own accord and sat back down on the log. I shoved my hands into my pockets.

"So," I began awkwardly. "I saw Chloe. She told me you two had some kind of falling out."

He sighed. "Leave it, Derek."

"But whatever it is, I'm pretty sure you've got nothing to worry about."

"Derek, I mean it."

"I mean, it's probably just a misunderstanding and you've got it all completely wrong."

Simon sighed. "Derek, what are you doing here? Really, I mean. Drop the pretences."

Okay, so he wasn't prepared to talk about Chloe just yet. I tried another tactic. "I don't want you alone in the forest at night. I thought I picked up a scent earlier. It was faint, but I recognised it from somewhere. Could be dangerous."

All true. All believable.

"So you thought you'd walk into the big bad forest to drag me out," Simon concluded. "Makes sense. But when you find me, instead of ordering me into the house like you'd usually do, you start badgering me about Chloe. What's up with that?"

I scratched at my arm absently, trying to stall for time. Simon had had plenty of girlfriends before, and occasionally those brief relationships had ended badly, but... we'd never discussed them before. And none of the girls had ever meant anything to me in the way Chloe did. I was way out of my depth here and I didn't know how to even begin to swim to the surface.

"Look... Chloe told me what happened," I said. Might as well get it all out at once. "She told me what you think... about me and her. But it's not true."

Simon laughed bitterly. " _She_ didn't deny it."

I blinked. "What?"

Simon looked at me. "Come on, brother. It's obvious. Chloe doesn't like me. She likes you. And you like her – I can see that. I'm not blind."

I ignored that last part. "Chloe definitely does _not_ like me. Not in that way. She told me so."

A glimmer of hope flashed in Simon's eyes, but quickly faded. "She's in denial. I don't think she knew it herself until I tried to kiss her. She'll figure it out."

My stomach dropped. Simon had tried to kiss her?

A muscle twitched in my arm, and I tensed, trying to work it out. Simon's eyes flickered down to my curled fist.

"Easy bro," he said. "She didn't kiss me back. It looks like I'm out of the picture now."

He looked so miserable that I forgot about my predicament for the moment. I rolled my shoulders to loosen them out and slumped down onto the log beside him. "That's not true."

He laughed. "Then I guess you're in denial too. That's good. You and Chloe have something else in common."

I felt a growl rumbling in my throat. "Stop it."

"Stop what? I'm just accepting the truth. It's you two that are being so stupid. I should try banging your heads together, see if that'll knock some sense into you."

"Unless you want her unconscious, that's probably a bad idea."

Simon didn't laugh, like I expected him too. Instead, he just sat staring out into the thickening woodland. I looked out ahead of us too. I knew that where my eyes, perfectly adjusted, saw trees and rocks and nocturnal creatures jutting in and out of sight, his saw nothing. He was just staring into the darkness.

"I don't know what I want right now," he admitted slowly. "I can't say I didn't see this coming, but... it's one thing to have a hunch and another to know that you've made a prat out of yourself, you know?"

"You haven't made a prat out of yourself," I said automatically.

This time he did laugh. "No? I've been chasing a girl who doesn't want me. I've never had to deal with that before. I don't know how to deal with that, other than stalk off into the woods like a sulky child."

I huffed. "Stop berating yourself," I told him sharply.

"That's rich, coming from you."

"You've got every right to be angry. I'm sorry."

I was still looking out into the trees, but I felt Simon's gaze on my face now, boring into me. "So you're admitting it then? You're admitting that you like her?"

"No, I'm not," I said sharply. My head was still pounding and I felt exhausted. Even though I knew it had only been a few minutes, it felt like we'd been having this conversation for hours now. "I never said that. Besides, even if I did like her, there's no way she'd pick me over you. You know that."

I glanced back at Simon just in time to see him rolling his eyes dramatically in my direction. " _Please._ It's like I told Chloe. I'm sure you didn't mean to steal my girl. But things have changed between you two. It's been going on for a while now... maybe even longer than I thought. You've liked her for a while, haven't you?"

I didn't reply. Simon smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. It was a smile that said, _I'm right, I knew it, but I really wish I wasn't._

"I knew it," he said. "I knew you liked her. The protectiveness, the way you look at her sometimes..." He trailed off, still smiling that sad, smug smile. "I thought... I don't know what I thought. That you'd tell me if there was something up. That all this grouchier-than-usual behaviour was just 'cause of your change, but – "

"Simon," I interrupted. "You don't get it. You've got it all wrong. Forget about me for a moment – it doesn't matter what I think about Chloe. I've already told you, she's not interested. She'll probably just – "

"Derek, shut up."

I stopped, stunned. I'd never heard Simon speak to me like that before. I'd never heard him speak to anyone like that before. _Well, except maybe Tori..._

"I never thought I'd say this, Derek," Simon snapped. "But you know what? You're an idiot."

I blinked. "Si – "

"No. I'm tired of listening to you tell me that I've got this all wrong. _You've got it wrong._ You're an idiot. Chloe likes you, alright? She _really_ likes you, and you've got to be _thick_ not to notice it. So stop trying to do the right thing, stop pretending you think I've still got a chance with her, and start doing something for yourself for a change. If you like her, stop wasting your time denying it and start figuring out where you want to go from here. Just... be selfish for once, will you?"

His eyes stared right through me, cutting straight through whatever pathetic denial I had planned next. He hadn't raised his voice, but the frustration simply rolled off of him in waves. After a tense moment, he broke our staring match to glare intently down at his shoes.

"You're right," I said after a while. "I mean... I like her."

It felt weird to say it – especially to Simon of all people. But I couldn't deny that it felt kind of good, too. Simon and I, we used to tell each other everything. I'd missed being able to confide in him. "I'm sorry," I added, when he still hadn't spoken.

"Don't be," he said. "I can't exactly blame you. And it's about time you got yourself a girl." He grinned as I rolled my eyes and scuffed my trainers on the dirt, embarrassed. "I think Chloe could be good for you. She's nice. She understands all of this craziness. And she doesn't put up with all your mood swings, either."

I snorted. "That's if she'll even speak to me again."

"Why?" Simon frowned. "You didn't lay into her again, did you? Tell me you two didn't have another fight."

I couldn't look at him. "I was sticking up for you. I told her she shouldn't have led you on if she didn't really mean any of it. I know Chloe could never intentionally hurt anyone. I was just... confused and irrational." _And nursing a killer headache._ "I lashed out."

Simon shook his head. "Well then, I guess you've got a lot of grovelling to do tomorrow morning."

I grunted an agreement, but my mind was racing. The Change was coming on, I could feel it. If Chloe was still mad at me, I'd have to find some way to make amends with her _tonight_. She'd told me that she would be there for me when I needed her... but that was before I'd lashed out again. She wouldn't make me deal with the Change on my own... would she?

Simon laughed humourlessly beside me. "The funny thing is, I probably wouldn't have even attempted anything with her if you hadn't encouraged me." He stole a sideways glance at me now. "I guess you don't want to hear that though, right?"

He was right. I really didn't want to hear that.

"I didn't..." I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to ignore the tell-tale sweat there. "I didn't mean to... to push you two together. Or, well, I guess I kind of did..."

"At the time."

"Yeah."

"Because you wanted to give me some incentive to break out of Lyle House and find Dad," he deduced. My eyes widened in surprise. Simon smiled sheepishly. "I'm not stupid. I knew what you were planning. I just went along with it, 'cause... well, 'cause it involved impressing a pretty girl." He laughed. "Guess that backfired though, didn't it? We've been sleeping on the streets and surviving on granola bars. Very impressive, I'm sure."

"Chloe's okay with that though," I said without thinking. "She knew what she was getting herself into before we set out. She cornered me in the bathroom and forced me to admit that I was using her to bait you into action."

Simon smirked. "Yeah. She's perfect for you. Always putting you in your place."

I punched him playfully on the arm. He snorted.

"You figured out what you're going to do yet?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Not really. I guess I'm just going to take things one step at a time. I'm not good at this kind of thing, you know? This is your department."

Simon grinned. "My big brother's all grown up. Hey, if you want some tips – "

"I'm good, thanks."

He laughed – with real humour this time.

"Seriously, though," I said. "Thanks. For lecturing me about Chloe. I really needed that."

"What else are brothers for?" Simon grinned. "And hey, don't worry about me. You like Chloe, right?"

I nodded, feeling awkward.

Simon nodded too. "Then you should go for it."

"And you're... okay with that?"

"I guess so. I don't know. I'm still... adjusting. I'll let you know when I'm okay with it, okay?"

"Okay." I tried to imagine how Simon must be feeling right now. Confused, hurt, betrayed... and still supporting me. A little time wasn't too much to ask for. And Simon didn't hold grudges. I knew I'd be reading another one of his quirky picture messages sometime soon.

I yawned and stretched; feeling my muscles protest. They continued to pull against each other even after I'd dropped my arms back down to my sides. Not a good sign. I stood up and my calf muscles practically howled in protest.

Yep. Definitely tonight. There was no doubt about it now.

Maybe it was just the fever burning through my body, the wolf inside me, ready to claw through my skin, but something felt off. Wrong. I breathed deeply through my nose to calm my body down, and I could have sworn I picked up on that familiar scent from earlier. But when I sniffed again, deliberately this time, it was gone, like my mind was playing tricks on me. It wouldn't be the first time I'd started to lose track of my senses before a Change. I groaned lowly as another spasm caused me to sway slightly where I stood.

Simon looked up. "We should probably head back to the house."

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah... that's probably a good idea."

He got to his feet, eyeing me strangely. "Derek? You alright?"

I tried to keep my expression as smooth as possible. No need to worry him. "Fine."

We made our way back to the house in companionable (if a little awkward) silence. But when Simon made his way up the stairs, I didn't follow. He looked down at me questioningly.

"I'm going to stay down here for a while. You go on up."

Simon rolled his eyes and mumbled something about over-protectiveness, knowing full well that I could hear his every word. But he let it go and continued to walk up the stairs without another backwards glance. Maybe he wasn't quite as comfortable with everything we'd just shared as he'd like me to think.

As soon as I heard his door click shut, I was climbing the stairs two at a time, racing silently to Chloe's room, praying that she'd have mercy on me – that she'd be her usual gracious self and drop everything as soon as she realised I was Changing.

I didn't even want to think about what I'd have to go through if she turned me away.

I was at her door in seconds, but I didn't stop there. Something pulled me along to the room next to hers – her scent seemed to be stronger here. Maybe she'd had a falling out with Tori too, tonight. Or maybe she just wanted to be left alone.

Either way, I had a feeling she wasn't going to be happy about me knocking on her door at three o'clock in the morning, after everything we'd already been through tonight. She had every right to ignore me and send me on my way.

The pain in my arms and legs intensified. I looked down to see my muscles writhing once more. There wasn't much time to waste.

I took a deep breath.

_Here goes nothing._

I rapped lightly on the door, hoping it was loud enough to wake her.

"Chloe?" I whispered. "It's me. Derek."


End file.
